December 6, 2012 in Marriage
Gen 2:24-Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. AMP
I used to teach Sunday school with a woman who believed that the man and woman and “one flesh” meant that a child would be created from the flesh of the two. I’m sure she was right, yet, after 30 years of marriage I believe this scripture has still another meaning.
I consider my relatively lengthy marriage an accomplishment, not because I’ve endured my husband or my vow for that length of time, but because I have managed to tolerate myself. A good marriage demands that the two people involved crawl out of themselves and in doing so give to the other. To do that there must be trust and faith. Mature trust is earned, and a strong faith comes from trial and experience … so all this takes time.
As the years of a committed marriage pass, wills are challenged, egos are splintered, individualities are cherished, and personalities are tempered. Time together becomes treasured, hearts open and are shared, words become softer and behavior grows more gentle. As these things take place, the flesh that kept each from the other, dissolves into One.
Language, a mirror of the heart, changes too.
“Do you want to go to this party Saturday night?” He asks holding the invitation between two fingers and up for her to see.
“Whatever you want to do,” she replies.
“I want to go.” He says flatly.
“Great. Then let’s go.”
Tilting his head he looks at her. A moment later he says, “Maybe I don’t … if that’s OK with you.”
“Whatever you want to do,” she says. “Really, it would be nice to relax all day Saturday after this busy week.”
“Then it is set.” He smiles, “We won’t go.”
Who wanted what there? That conversation is quite different from a less mature, more ego-centered marriage.
“There’s a party Saturday that I don’t want to miss.” She says.
“I’m tired. I don’t want to go,” he replies.
“You’re always tired,” she whines. “You never want to do anything.
“Well, if you worked like I work, you would know what I mean.” He retorts.
“I work hard too!”
“Well,” he says defiantly, “If you’ve got so much energy, then you go by yourself!”
“Fine,” she says. “I will.”
This is a selfish conversation born from two self-centered hearts that are still learning the art of life and marriage. But, if there is commitment they will grow through this.
A good marriage is a good thing. Perhaps outside the gift of our Savior, marriage is the best of God’s blessings.